Saranya Ravichandran, lives in Paris (2019-present)

Answered Feb 11

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I’ll tell you about a love story of my friend’s parents and then answer this question.

My friend’s parents fell in love with each other and got married. It was not a cake walk for them. Even now, many Indian parents are not fully supportive of love marriage, in many parts of India. Imagine 25–30 years before.

My friend’s mom and her dad were neighbours. They eventually fell in love with each other. After a while, he got posted somewhere north of India and had to move there. When the grandfather (father of her mom) got to know about this relationship, he cut all kinds of contacts between them. He grounded her mom. Her dad tried contacting her, but couldn’t. Letters and public telephone was the only way to stay in touch, those days. There was literally no way of talking to each other or even to know if the other person was alive. After 7–8 years, her dad came looking for her mom. They met outside the house secretly, after he waited for hours. Both of them were so much in love, even after years. They left their home and got married. They have two daughters now and are living very happily.

Sounds like a movie, right?

But, it’s a true story.

Okay, now coming to what I think is wrong with relationships these days.

Lack of commitment and the various forms of relationship.

I just don’t understand this new trend in relationships, there are just too many names.

There’s seeing each other, then dating (sometimes casually dating), then there’s relationship and then live-in relationship.

Being in love with your partner is something that’s different from all the above. You can be in a relationship but not be in love.

Then there’s commitment.

You can be in love and in a relationship with someone, but you can still not want to “marry” that person. Marriage is an entirely different thing.

On top of all this, there’s “friends with benefits”

I just don’t understand.

Maybe, I’m old-school that way and people give me weird looks when I talk like this.

But according to me, you’re in a relationship because you love the person, you want to commit to that person and you see a future together with them. Everything means the same to me.

People have too many definitions and a relationship is not about commitment anymore. People give up on each other so easily. They never say, “I’ll hold on to you, even if the heaven falls down”

Earlier, at least in our country, relationships didn’t work mostly because parents didn’t want love marriage. Parents separated them. But, these days, relationships don’t work because people are not willing to put in the effort. They don’t believe in learning and growing together as a couple. So many love failure stories and so many heart breaks because one person gave up so easily.

Also read: How Sonu Nigam met his love.

My friend’s parents were so much in love with zero contact. These days, with Whatsapp, FaceTime and Skype, people still can’t work out long distance relationships. Forget different countries, if you’re not in the same city, then this won’t work out.

You don’t give up on someone you love!

If you’re old-school like me with a stubborn heart, don’t worry if someone gave up on you. You don’t want someone who gives up on you so easily. You deserve a lot better, someone with a stubborn heart, just like you <3

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